Michael has not yet reported on his injury, but long story short, he got hurt skiing and needed surgery (yes, he's fine! I hope he'll have a chance to blog about it, but couldn't let this experience linger in blog-draft-land; this happened while we were skiing). I need to talk about getting him to surgery, because it was a three-stooges-but-taking-years-off-my-life experience.
The surgery was not really scheduled, but we were told to be at the hospital no later than 7:30 a.m.; this was impressed upon us on multiple occasions in two separate phone calls. Our arrival time was clear.
Since the place was about 40 minutes away, we left the apartment an hour and ten minutes early just to be on the safe side. We knew that there was a bit of fresh snow, and just wanted to make sure everything would go smoothly. Hah.
I pulled the behemoth (9-passenger van) out of the garage, went up the driveway and...slid back down a foot. Okay, I can handle this. Not to worry. (Because, of course, I wasn't at all stressed that I was taking my husband in for some serious surgery.) Backed all the way down. Then gunned it. Up and over we went! Hurray!
Through the gate and into the pedestrian piazza (we had a permit) and....well....it felt like we were tobogganing. There was no progress being made.
At this point, I freely confess, I lost the plot. I called 112 (one of the emergency numbers) to beg for help and the operator suggested a taxi, and an inspired second later inquired as to whether I had chains. Of course I did! I had just forgotten. Blessing the unknown operator, I hung up and grabbed the chains. Meanwhile, Hopalong Cassidy decided that it was a good idea to come out with his foot in a cast and gimp around on crutches in slippery snow. Because, why? You tell me. On the one hand, I'm trying to get the chains on, and on the other, I'm trying to shoo him back into the car so he can call one of the kids for help.
After much effort, the chains are on. I start up the car, and (this is one of the many Three Stooges moments of the morning)...yes, it is a rear-wheel drive and I have (you guessed it) put the chains on the front wheels.
Panic has really set in now. We are at t-35, and it is seriously time to be on the road, not stuck in a piazza with chains on the wrong wheels. I get them off, of course messing them up and being as clumsy as humanly possible (in my defense, I think it is the first time I have ever put chains on a car).
I look up.
I weep.
The local snowplow that has been lovingly clearing the piazza has built a two-foot wall of snow all around the front and side of the car.
I march over to him and cry and tell him I am trying to get my husband to surgery, the chains aren't working and could he kindly remove that hideous mound before I completely launch into hysterics in front of the grocery store?
He very sweetly set to work. And I went back to my work as the chain gang. By this time, Jeremy and Florence had (thank goodness!) shown up for moral support, and a bit of physical support, too. We wrestled the chains onto the rear wheels (the driver's side not terribly elegantly), and started, and...they worked!
Michael and I managed to get up to the main road, and then had the joy of driving on chains on cleared road for what seemed like hours (in the back of my mind, I'm convinced they will cancel the surgery if Michael is late...which he will be for sure at this point), but was actually probably only a few hundred meters. Made it to the pull-off! Now time to get those dratted chains off. Out hops Michael (grr), who easily removes the passenger side chains. I, on the other hand, manage to embrangle the chains in the axle.
I try moving forward a few feet. No dice.
(At this point, I am convinced it is the nightmare-come-to-life-that-never-ends.)
Michael suggests trying to pull the chain OVER the axle instead of the normal "letting them fall behind the tire" route. We do it, and it works.
Thank you, Lord.
Michael called the hospital as I drove, and they were just as nice as could be. No problem, and we were "only" half an hour late to the hospital.
Love,
Alexandra