Love in the Time of Covid-19

Eleanor and Matthew were married yesterday! Everything about it was in keeping with the general peculiarity of current circumstances, so thank goodness we’ve all retained our collective sense of humor...as well as joy in their love for each other.

The wedding was originally planned for May 2 in Matthew’s home town in Minnesota. I had been working on Eleanor’s dress since before November (off and on; it entailed various try-ons, which meant they had to wait for trips to the US), but decided in January that I needed to get a move on to finish it up “because you never know.” We had the lining fitting sometime in February, and I kicked into high gear at that point because it was becoming increasingly clear that we would probably not be able to travel to the US in May. 

Michael and I had private doubts about travel within the US in May, but didn’t want to alarm others.

Things got real about two weeks ago, when the CDC recommended that all “non-essential” travel be curtailed. At that point, Eleanor and Matthew had to make some hard decisions. They had already been pondering how they would feel if their elderly relatives came down with the coronavirus at their wedding, so it was a difficult but inevitable step to call off the wedding as originally planned.

And then, all the schools in North Carolina were closed and lockdown looked imminent. 

Last Thursday, I finalized the dress (having worked nonstop for nearly a week), and we got it shipped off express to the US. It arrived a day earlier than promised, Monday afternoon rather than Tuesday! By good fortune, it fitted quite well, so that part worked out. 

Eleanor and Matthew kicked into high gear at that point. They went to the county offices and got a marriage license that day. They contacted the church immediately, begging for an ASAP wedding. Since Masses have been severely restricted, even that would require diocesan approval. Fortunately, they had long since finished their marriage preparation and all the other paperwork required. The priest was very supportive of the situation, but needed to convince the church. By Tuesday morning, the church was on board, but needed to convince the diocese. Wednesday afternoon, the diocese gave permission...for a wedding on Thursday morning!

With less than 24 hours to plan a wedding, pretty much all the fussy details that every engaged couple and possibly their parents obsess over went by the wayside. Music? Whatever the available pianist felt like playing would be great. Flowers? Let’s see what we can pick up at the few grocery stores that are open (and actually, their guests were kind enough to bring Eleanor a bouquet!). Guests? Well, we’re only allowed 10 people including ourselves. With the wedding coordinator (mandatory, per the church), priest, pianist, technician (who would be taking care of streaming), the happy couple, and one of Eleanor’s colleagues who was kind enough to be a photographer for them...there weren’t too many options for fretting over a last-minute guest list. Jenny, Eleanor’s dear friend and roommate, served as maid of honor, mother of the bride, florist, baker/caterer, and more. We are so grateful for all she did during this period. In addition, the couple who worked with Eleanor and Matthew on marriage prep were able to come! Done. 

During the “getting ready” morning, we held a video call so that we could enjoy the process of seeing Eleanor bustling around working on her bouquet, makeup, and so on. It was really lovely, and while it was not the same as being there, it was certainly great that we were able to participate in that way. 

The rest of us were blessed to witness their wedding from wherever we were, streamed remotely. I think five or six countries were represented, and lots of different locations within the US. 

Oh, and reception food? Delivery pizza! 

In our house in Italy, we raised a glass to them after the ceremony, and sat down to cake and our virtual reception: so many kind people wrote to us that we really felt as though we had the chance to chat with many of our intended guests. The major deficit, honestly, was we missed out on the opportunity to see Matthew’s family; realistically, though, receptions are such busy times with lots of small talk. We’ll look forward to visiting them at some point when global travel is permitted again, and we’ll have a better chance of having longer conversations and really get to know them in a much more intimate setting!

That said, later in the evening, the happy couple set up a video conference with siblings and parents. We were so happy to have our virtual after-party! It was a great, relaxed setting, and although there were the typical challenges of these sorts of calls with technology and so on, it felt really warm and loving.

The beauty of it all, though, is that they’re married. This was the desired and intended outcome. They are clearly meant for each other, and we are so, so very happy to see our daughter with such a lovely husband.

Love,

Alexandra